Finding a Church Home

After we made our appointment for our first IUI, I decided to give Hudson a call. He was excited. I am not sure I was. The truth of the matter was I was done with all of this. The only reason I kept going to the next doctors appointment was I never wanted to give up as long as my husband wanted to keep going. And I never wanted to regret not doing something....and so I kept going. But my heart wasn't in it anymore. I had lost all faith in becoming a mother.

As soon as Hudson got the news about the IUI he asked me a ton of questions. The first being tell me about the drugs. I told him I refused to take any because of all the things he and I had talked about in the past. Clomid burns out your body's reproductive system. I think my body had been thru enough and of coarse there was the crazy part. As I rambled on all the reasons I said no drugs to Hudson the other end of the line was dead silence. I know he could hear the pain in my words. I then began to tell him about the expense of it all and every other fear I had about it. And then in Hudson fashion he said...This is going to work. You need to believe that and the next thing we need to do is you back on herbs and acupuncture treatments. We need make sure your body is where it needs to be for the insemination. Within two days I found myself back on Hudson's table and drinking dirt flavored herbs...with a hint of cinnamon! But I didn't believe it would work. I hated the doctor but more than that I was tired. It was the first time I felt completely defeated in the process.

Around this time my husband and I also began searching for a church we could call home. This too was a hard process. We did get married in a church but it was a church used mostly for weddings on a college campus and an ordained friend of the family married us. We were looking for a place to call home. We were in need of a church family. It didn't matter what denomination it was because the two of us came from two completely different backgrounds. What mattered most was we liked the sermon and the people attending church. Location was a big concern as well.

So every Sunday we were in a different church and every Sunday we didn't find a home. It was frustrating. Then one day I was driving to my mom's house and I saw a new church being built. I was drawn to it the entire time we watched the construction. The more the church became a building the more my husband and I became excited. After the building was up we noticed the sign said there was a Wednesday night service. So we decided to attend. When we drove into the parking lot there weren't many cars but we headed in anyway. We were greeted by a tall man with the deepest voice I ever heard. He was very welcoming and told us that there wasn't a service because the pastor was on vacation with his family. However, he was a holding a bible study and he would love for us to stay. And so we did. We liked him so much we decided to attend the church service that Sunday. As we listened to the pastor speak we knew we had found the church. And just in time we were getting ready to head down another infertility road and we would need their support.