And God Spoke

One of the most supportive people in my life during this time was Jackson. I met him at work and at first wasn't sure we could be friends. Jackson was my boss and we traveled together quit a bit. In the beginning we spent most of our time talking about work... he would begin to teach me and I would soak as much of his teachings in as I could....we worked long hours crunching numbers and meeting with the field teams. But during that time there was hardly any talk about our personal lives. Which is why I didn't see a great friendship in the making...Great friends live life stories with you...he and I didn't share stories. I do have to admit I loved it at first not having to hash out my story with another human on the planet and if I had to guess he probably felt the same way. He isn't the most open guy about his personal life. But for me he was a great escape.

The more we traveled together the more we would chat and open up about life and all that life brings. Sometimes it was only conversations about the weather other times we shared stories about growing up. When I began asking for the time off to go to all these "mommy to be" appointments he began to ask more questions. At first I just gave him the highlight show. I didn't tell him about EVERYTHING. I mean he was a guy and not really interested in the details. So I would just say we have a doctors appointment and he would just know I needed the time off. But after 4 or 5 of those "Doctors Appointments" I had to explain we were seeing an infertility doctor. And he was very supportive.

Luckily Jackson is a Christian. The first time I noticed this was our first meal together. We were in a public restaurant and he prayed before we ate and I found that fascinating because he was so private....yet he wasn't afraid to hide his faith. In one of our conversations I was warning him of the first IUI coming up and I would need the day off. Jackson smiled and said..This is exciting right? I almost cried because he was more excited than I could be. Full of fear and with tears in my eyes I said to him.... what if it doesn't work? And he then gave me my mantra line I told myself thru every step we took after that....He said, "This is not up to you. You have to trust in God's plan". From God's mouth thru Jackson's lips it was the first time I was open to Gods plan with this. All this time I was concerned with our plan and never even considered about God's plan in all this...and with that one sentence Jackson became a friend for life.

Our first IUI was scheduled about four weeks after my conversation with Jackson. My husband and I had also been attending the new church for about a month and had gotten to know some people in the church by going to a few different Sunday school classes and asking for prayer. Its funny how hard it is to ask for prayer but after talking to Jackson I knew we needed God on our side. The pastor also does an alter call every Sunday and every Sunday both my husband and I were up there asking God to please watch over us but most of all please let it work...Please let this be the time we conceive a child! And every Sunday I would leave the alter in tears hoping he heard us!

So between our family, friends and people at church we had an army of prayer behind us. And I finally started to have a glimmer of hope that this time I was going to be on the road to motherhood.