The Sermon that made me Weep

The trip to Disneyland was probably the best trip we have ever taken as a couple. We not only reconnected with our inner child, we more importantly reconnected with one another. We spent two days in Disneyland running around trying to ride every ride we could. Well except for the roller coasters because I am a barfer and we didn't need that in middle of our fun!

When we weren't riding rides we were running around getting our pictures taken with the live Characters and even going as far as getting their autographs for our autograph book. It was one of the silliest things we had done...and I think that is what made it so special! We saw shows and ate ice cream that looked like mickey....We spent one day at California Adventure Park and another at Universal Studios. We went to Sea World and saw Shamu and even made it to Hollywood Walk of Fame to find Cher's star...yes I said Cher...I love her!

It was so fun and most of all we were free. It didn't matter that we were surrounded by children at the theme parks because we had turned into kids ourselves. We didn't talk sperm counts and ovulation...instead we focused on what made us smile and laugh till our sides hurt. We began to heal. The trip was just what our broken hearts needed.

When we got back home it was easy to slip back into our old ways. My husband began to work alot of hours again and I started to travel more. We saw each other on the weekends most of the time and sometimes not even then. We weren't fighting as often but we weren't that happy couple in Disneyland either. We both were broken and we weren't sure how our future looked now. I guess when your walking down the isle to meet your prince charming and see your future in front of you....you never stop to think what if God throws a huge road block at you? Your to busy imagining all the great things that will come....a home, children, grandchildren...isn't that how life goes?

The one thing we did try and do was go to church every Sunday together. I usually cried during the sermons or the music. Which is funny because I wasn't a crier before. In fact growing up I wasn't allowed to cry but after all we had been thru...the crying flood gates were officially open. Now when I cry it is an all day affair. I guess I am getting out the last 30 years of not crying!

One Sunday we sat down and I was digging in my purse getting my tissue ready for my cry fest. When I looked up only to see that same message came across the screen that had been there a few months before....I remembered it as I read it....If your interested in Adopting or Fostering a child please call this number....just reading it made me want to cry. Was that our answer?

Then as I pondered our future as ADOPTIVE parents the sermon began. The sermon was about how our pastor and his wife and how they adopted their three children through social services. He told the story of how they had been offered other babies and how they got their hopes up and then those babies never came home with them. I couldn't imagine the pain that must have caused. Then after many years of trying to adopt and not succeeding they brought home a sibling group of 3 amazing kids. He explained that the reason the other babies didn't work out is because those weren't the babies God had picked out for them....Although he and his wife may have thought they should have gotten those other children...these 3 kids were always meant to be their kids. That Sunday I didn't cry thru church I wept. How many times did I have to hear that...It wasn't up to me it was up to God!

So on Monday I called the number on the screen....I had know idea it was about to open up a whole new chapter in our lives....I wasn't even sure if we were ready for what they had to say. All I knew was I needed to see if this was an option for us. What I didn't know was if this was the road God wanted us on. Was this was part of his plan or mine???