Name that Formula

A new month brought new experiences. The first of which was our 2nd scheduled supervised visitation with the bios. Julian and I showed up at our scheduled time that day. I had been full of hope that the bios would not show up again this time, and that was only because of their history. The truth was I had no idea what was going on with the case or anything that pertained to it because I hadn't heard from Betty Rose in two weeks.

As I drove into the back parking lot to once again meet Ana I noticed she was already waiting for us outside. My heart sank. She was smoking a cigarette and when she saw my car she threw it on the asphalt of the parking lot and stepped on it. I was ready to cry I couldn't believe they were there. As I got out of the car Ana was walking toward us. She was just a few steps away when I heard her say....they were early today! That's good right?

I was shocked at the words she was speaking to me but more shocked at the excitement in her voice. It was as tho she was pleased they showed up...and she wanted me to be pleased. I was taking Julian out of the car seat and I said...well it is not good for me. The shock in her eyes showed me that it wasn't until I said those words that she figured out I wasn't just some new foster mom helping out the county and children in need. I was there only for Julian. She didn't even respond to me instead she just began talking to Julian...in Spanish. She was telling him how cute he was and asking him if he was ready to see mommy and daddy. I was crushed. I was mommy and my husband was daddy, not the people she was taking him to see!

She took him from my arms that day and said...okay see you in an hour! And then she left with my child. I got in the car and put my sunglasses on to hide the tears. I couldn't let myself cry because I had to be back in an hour to pick him up and there was no way this woman was going to see me cry over her words. I let a few tears fall and I then I was off to find something to keep me occupied for an hour. The entire time I was thinking about the visit and how it was going. I wondered what they were doing and how Julian was reacting to them. I couldn't think of anything else.

I was back an hour later to pick Julian up. I drove back into the parking lot at the back of the building and parked my car. I was watching the back door and every face that came out of it. None of them were Julian. Finally, out came Ana carrying Julian. He didn't look happy. As they got closer I noticed his little eyes were full of tears and his clothes had been changed.

As I reached for him I asked her how the visit went. She said, not so well. They didn't feed him because they didn't know what kind of formula he was on. So for the last 25 minutes he has been crying, probably because he is hungry. She then proceeded to tell me how the bios thought his hair was to dry and so for the next visit they were going to bring me the correct shampoo for his hair. Then she explained the new clothes he had on the bio had brought for him. They decided to change him because he had puked on his other outfit. I looked at Ana like she had lost her mind. There was a silence between us as I waited for her tell me more but that was it. She had nothing else to report back to me.

I then took a deep breath and tried to gather my thoughts. I looked her in the eyes and said...all they said was his hair is dry? They didn't ask about his physical therapy or his acid reflux? They didn't want to know if he was sleeping okay or if we were decent people...they only cared about his hair? Then in my most disgusted voice I said...is that it? Are we done? She shook her head yes and I left with little Julian.

As I strapped him in his car seat I quickly gave him a bottle which he took from me like a wild animal, As I got in the car to drive us home I was furious. The more I thought about these biological parents and their excuses, the more upset I got. I had been over the formula issue three times with Betty Rose. Giving her the exact brand and type of formula they needed to bring for Julian. I had also talked to Ana about over the phone so she could relay the information to them in Spanish and still these people don't know what formula he needs? Then instead of calling me to bring them formula they let him starve it out so they could have another 25 minutes with him screaming. Way to go MOMMY AND DADDY! So far in my eyes this was not helping your case.

I didn't care much about the outfit change other than the clothes he had on didn't come back to me. I then just requested that Ana get the clothes back for me. I was concerned about the hair issue they brought up. Not to please the bios but for Julian's sake. I didn't know how to take care of his hair. It was so different from my own. It was wild and out of control but I didn't know if that was normal or not. It did feel dry to me but again I had no idea that was wrong. In all reality I had just hoped this case would wrap up quickly and we could take our boy in for his first hair cut and that would solved the dry hair issue....instead this case wasn't going quickly. I didn't even know where the case was going at all. And then I knew I was going to have to get a lesson on hair care from the people that couldn't even manage to feed him. That wasn't going to go well......