The Baby Fix

The conversation didn't get any better when I came back downstairs with Julian in my arms. My husband's face told me that she wasn't making a great impression on him either. As I walked toward my husband, to hand him Julian, I was stopped by Betty Rose. She had jumped up from her seated position and she was standing directly in front of me now. She had lost her fake smile and had taken on a different personality....this personality was one that made me extremely uncomfortable...her ultimate goal was to hold Julian and so without asking she just took him as I started to hand him off to his father. Her eyes lit up like a child looking at Christmas Tree for the first time and she began to talk to him in a high pitched voice. She kept saying weird things like...how is my little buddy or did you miss me since we saw each other last???


As she talked I began to fidget...as I was reading Julian's body language she kept talking and forgot my husband and I were even in the room. Julian was telling her he wanted me to hold him because he kept looking my way and squirming away from her. When she would do something extra crazy like begin to kiss him all over his face... he would turn very stiff and look away. I felt violated for him. I couldn't believe she was acting this way. It was so strange. This woman worked for the same institution that spent an entire training class teaching my husband and I all red flags to look for when a child was uncomfortable with a stranger or even with their own family. Yet she wasn't reading one of Julian's signs. It took everything in me to not jump up and take him from her....finally I spoke in order to not have to hear her high pitched voice speak to him any longer...I said...Betty Rose how long have you been a social worker?



She told me her career paths from college and then into social work. Different states she lived in and had worked for and how she ended up where she was. To be honest I couldn't tell you today where she worked or for how long because I really wasn't interested in her as a person. I was more interested in getting her to let go of my child and to stop talking to him like Beaker from the Muppets. Finally, when she was done giving us her verbal resume she stood up handed Julian to my husband and said...so do you guys have anymore questions?? Now that I have seen him and gotten my baby fix I should get going because I have another appointment that I need to get to.

As I glanced at my watched I noticed she had been there for 30 minutes. I was shocked that she was leaving so soon yet at the same time I was ready for her to go. She hadn't answered one question today nor had she asked me anything about Julian's behaviors or how he was doing. It seemed she just need to get her "BABY FIX" and move on. And so in hopes of getting her to leave our home I said...Nope no more questions! And with those words Betty Rose left our home for the first time.

After the visit that day I cried. I was so upset about who she was and how she treated me and my husband....and I was gravely concerned about how she didn't care about Julian's well being. If I had him for a week and she asked me nothing about him how was she relaying information to the judge about his case? As I cried I told my husband I was worried because I didn't get the feeling she was seeing Julian with us long term. I was worried we made the wrong decision and as he held my hand and he said words I knew meant he had the same concerns I did..he said...you know we don't have to do this. We can give him back before we get into this any further. Its our right to not have to do this. And if your heart is telling you this isn't the right case then maybe we should consider this.

I ran the scenario quickly thru my head. Taking him back to social services...them finding him another home...and then I cried harder...the tears fell and I talked...I said..I can't be another adult in his life abandons him. I know we have only had him a week but I know in my heart he is ours and I can't give him back to anyone...not social services, not his biological parents...I just have to fight for him...we just have to fight for him!

And with that my husband agreed and he held me as I cried...but in his heart the concern was real. He was worrying about me and my mental state thru this...he was worrying about protecting Julian from a system we didn't know how to fight....and he too was visualizing an outcome not in our favor because Betty Rose had said she was going to Reunite the Family....and she obviously was not looking out for the best interest of Julian but more just trying to get a baby fix.