Bad First Impression

Betty Rose came to our home a week after we had brought our little Julian home. When I answered the door she was nothing like I thought she would be. The first thing I noticed about her was she didn't have the warm smile and eyes that Leyla and Belinda had. Instead she just gave me a quick grin as I invited her into our home. She was an average size woman with shoulder length blonde hair and light eyes. Her hair was permed and reminded me of how I wore my hair in the late 1980's when I had big bangs. She didn't wear any make up and her clothes were simple. She was in jeans and a peach colored sweater and her socks matched her sweater. I smiled to myself as I remembered fondly a time in my youth where the socks always matched the shirts and I had a tight rolled jean pant leg. I began to wonder what kept someone stuck in an era like the 80's as I watched her look around our home.

She did not seem to care about our home as much as she was looking for Julian who was taking a nap. To be honest she wasn't interested in us much but was merely stuck with us because Julian was sleeping. I invited her to sit down and told her we had been anxious to meet her. She gave me the same fake smile I received at the door and then asked...So where is the baby...I love holding babies so I couldn't wait to get over here to hold him! I was a little taken back by her words for many reasons. The biggest being that this was the first time she had met us and the only concern she had was wanting to hold Julian?? She wasn't concern how he was adjusting to staying with us or how we were doing with the huge adjustment of parenthood...instead she just wanted to hold him because he was a baby?? Already she wasn't making a great first impression with me. And judging from the look on my husbands face he was sharing my concerns.

As I gathered my thoughts I simply said to her... well he is sleeping its nap time right now...so he should be up in a little bit. She seemed to be a bit put off by answer but I wasn't sure what she wanted me to do? I wasn't about to wake up a sleeping baby just so she could hold him. Especially, because I didn't really want her holding him as we were still trying to get him to bond with us but I knew I wasn't going to be able to stop her once he woke up.

As we all took a seat in our living room I started to tell her we had lots of questions about the case and told her we even wrote them down so we wouldn't forget. I was nervous while talking to her...I could feel my face begin to get red and my voice even quivered a bit. She didn't have an intimidating persona that made me nervous...but I knew what kind of power she had with the case and I wanted her on our side. She then said...well you can ask me your questions but I am not sure I will have answers for you or I may have answers and just can't tell you what I know.

Without thinking I snapped at her...why wouldn't you be able to tell us what you know? She said...well because this case has an ongoing criminal investigation and so I might not be able to give you details of the case because of the investigation. I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. Nobody that we had come in contact with either in classes or people that were personally involved with Julian's case had hid information from us. In fact it was quit opposite. We had gone thru his entire case file...piece by piece. We had seen medical records and court reports, we even saw pictures of his biological parents. Now this woman was telling me I might not be able to get ALL the FACTS about MY SON because of an ongoing criminal investigation?

It was then that I thought to myself thank God I didn't meet her first...I would have never taken this case just based on her personality. I hoped I would be able to find some common ground with her so she would see I already thought of myself as Julian's mother and I was going to fight for him just as I would expect her to fight for him. But so far in our first meeting I saw no common ground.

As I asked our questions she talked to us but never gave an answer on any of them. She spoke in circles and usually ended up telling us about another case she had and usually never answering the original questions we had. When I asked about Julian's biological parents she told me they were young and that they were illegal immigrants. She explained that they didn't speak English and she had only seen them interact with Julian once. During that supervised visitation they over stimulated Julian until he ended up crying. She said they needed a lot of work before they got him back.

My heart jumped at her comment...BEFORE THEY GOT HIM BACK??? What was she talking about...they weren't going to get him back were they? I said...is that how you see this case going...them getting him back? She said...its to early to tell. But I want you to know that my job is to REUNITE THE FAMILY....so I have to believe they can be rehabilitated.

With those words Julian's little voice came over the baby monitor...it was like I was saved by the bell. I excused myself to go get him and I left Betty Rose sitting with my husband. As I changed Julian's diaper before taking him down to see Betty Rose I heard her words again and again in my head....my job is to reunite the family! It was then I questioned what we had gotten into...did we do the right thing taking this case without meeting her first??? As my little man looked into my eyes and gave me his big toothless smile I thought...no way would they send him back to those parents....and I picked him up off the changing table and we headed down stairs for more conversation with Betty Rose.