May is Gone....

The first month of having Julian home was a whirlwind of events. I had spent the month learning about who I was as a mother and trying to figure out how to manage this little life and my own life. I was meeting someone new almost everyday from social services and I still hadn't met everyone that was important to the case. My marriage was no longer in the top 5 things of importance to me instead I ranked it more like number 8 or 9....it seemed motherhood made me lose sight of the fact that I was a wife as well. Although I was missing my friends, I hardly kept in contact with them unless they made the effort to come see me at the house with Julian. And yet no matter how tired or scared or stretched I felt I just kept moving on to the next day so I could help Julian.

By the end of May, the month we brought him home, Julian had been to three physical therapy appointments. He was still not rolling over which was Denise's (Julian's physical therapist) biggest concern but he was laying on his tummy for long periods of time. Which was a huge improvement and he was learning to sit up. I had spent many hours teaching him how to get up on his elbows to reach for toys and putting him in the sitting position so he could figure out his balance. He would lay on his back and put his feet in the air and grab at his toes which he wasn't doing in the beginning and he had gotten rid of his original favorite yoga pose, Slug Pose, and had started to reach for everything especially, Pugsley. Everyday I saw improvements in him physically. And everyday I knew it was my work with him that was helping and that is what kept us going. I was quit literally taking baby steps with Julian daily.

He was changing so quickly. His little eyes had gone from so dark and lost, to full of light and sparkle. He was becoming more silly each day. He loved peek a boo as long as he could just lay there and I put the blanket over his face and then take it off and yell...peek a boo! If he had to do anything to help the process, like take the blanket off his head himself he would cry. He loved the dogs and they were very protective of him...I even caught Pugsley a couple of times standing over Julian because he thought I wasn't close enough and he would just stand there and let Julian squeal or even gnaw on his leg. They were buddies.

Julian was also a music fan from the beginning. I first noticed it with the little fish that came with his new toy but then I found when I was trying to get him on a napping schedule that a lullaby helped sooth him...even tho I was the one singing...I am not exactly Aretha Franklin. It was just taking time for us to figure each other out. And I was on a mission to conquer this motherhood thing.

I still had some concerns about his case but the longer I was away from social services the better I felt about the case. When I didn't have to meet with anyone from the county or I the weeks I wasn't getting daily phone calls, I wasn't reminded that Julian wasn't ours. Instead I could concentrate on helping Julian become stronger and happier. Because ultimately that was my goal.