Shouldn't I Be Nesting...

As my husband and I loaded all the clothes, diapers and baby necessities out of the car we couldn't stop talking about how our lives would change in the next week. We couldn't wait to introduce him to everyone in our world. My husband was already a proud father announcing to everyone he was having a boy. I too was on top of the world. I had visions of our future as parents for so long and it was finally all coming together. I couldn't wait to bring Julian home.

After everything was unloaded and put into its proper place in the nursery we began calling our families to tell them. The first on the list was my mom. I think out everyone in our world she was just as excited as we were. When I called her my voice began to shake. It was the first time I was going to say the words out loud to someone. She answered on the first ring...I know she was sitting by the phone waiting for an update. When she picked up the phone she didn't even say hello...she just said...WELL HOW DID IT GO? I giggled and announced to her that she was going to be a grandmother for the first time on Monday! She was thrilled...and she couldn't wait to meet him. I gave her every detail about Julian that I soaked in. I told her about his hurting eyes and crazy hair and then I gave her all the information that physical therapist had given us. It didn't matter to her what I said either...when I told her she was going to be a grandma she knew if we felt this was the right case for us then she would love him just as we did.

When I got off the phone with my mom ...I just kept dialing everyone that I knew would want to know. Rebecca and Tina were at the top of the list and both of squealed in the phone like they had just found out they were bringing him home. As my husband and I each made our phone calls to make the announcement of Julian coming home our excitement grew with every call. There were tons of tears and laughter but the thing we felt the most that day was love and support by our family and friends.

I had to leave that Friday to go see my girlfriend back in my home town. Before I got on the plane I questioned if I was doing the right thing leaving. Shouldn't I be home nesting...preparing for his arrival...doing something motherly? I couldn't think of what I could actually do that was motherly that would make his home coming any better so I got on my plane and headed out of town. I spent the weekend surrounded by friends I hadn't seen in years and some I didn't know I would ever see again. It was an amazing weekend...full of too many beers and not enough sleep! It was just what any knew mother would do...RIGHT? I told everyone I saw that weekend about Julian. I showed them pictures of him that I had taken at his physical therapy evaluation and my on going joke was that he got his beautiful brown eyes from my side of the family.

One night when I was calling home to check in with my husband he told me that I was going to have to pick Julian up on my own because his place of employment wouldn't let him get out of his scheduled shift. I was devastated. After all we had been thru to get to this point I couldn't believe that now to finally bring Julian home I was on my own. We ended up arguing that night because I was so upset. To me there wasn't anything that would have kept me from getting to Julian to pick him up. To my husband he knew he was our only source of income and he had to be at work. I couldn't see his side then....I wanted us to be together when we brought our first child home.

So I did what any girl would do in the situation. I called my mom! She wouldn't have missed the chance to go. And so the plan was I would fly home Monday morning at 6am and she would come pick me up at the airport. We were to meet Julian's current foster mother at the county building for the exchange so we would go directly from the airport to go get him. Both my mother and I had a vision of what Monday morning would bring but neither of us knew the chaos we were about to walk into!