July 4th

It was our first July 4th as a family. Julian had on a cute little onsie that said MY FIRST 4th OF JULY! His eyes were full of life and his hair was wild but my favorite part of the day was he was back to being a little chatter box. I loved hearing Mama and Dada every three seconds. It was one of the many gifts he gave us. And each time he said it he melted my heart. Our little man still wouldn't put weight on his legs but he had gotten to the point where he was trying to move a little and he was finally sitting up again. Two weeks had passed since had gotten his vaccinations and it had taken him that long to move around enough to know he could sit up again, but he still did not trust that there wouldn't be pain in his legs. The truth was none of that even mattered to us that day. The only thing that mattered was it was a holiday which meant no doctors appointments, or social services visits. It was our day to be a family without anything reminding us that he wasn't ours yet.

We all got and the car and headed to my mom's house to BBQ. Julian's favorite pass time in life was being spoiled by Gramma. As soon as we mentioned Gramma's name he was looking around for her with a HUGE toothless grin. Our first 4th of July was turning out just as I had imagined. Julian was in good spirits we were surrounded by our family and the best part was making huge ice cream sundaes at dusk. We even took our first family photo that day. All three of us sat in front of one HUGE sundae and while my husband and I are smiling for the camera, Julian began digging in the ice cream oblivious that any of us are there. All he could think was bring on the ice cream! We were all so happy that day.

It was days like that one that gave me the strength keep going. To continue my constant battle to keep Julian. To fight anyone who told me he had a future without us. To take on a broken system that didn't see us as his parents, although it was obvious when Julian called me Mama and my husband Dada that we were the only ones he knew to love and take care of him. I remember looking around at the BBQ and thinking we were his family now and I was so relieved that day there was no reminder they we weren't. It was moments like the 4th of July that made me feel positive that God was on our side.