Is Julian a Drug Baby?

Julian being mobile turned our world into a whole new adventure. He continued to crawl after anything he wanted to get his little chubby hands on. With each move forward he would grunt and pull his body. He had figured out he could move but he just choose to not use his legs, instead he would prove his strength to the world by dragging his little body behind him. Honestly, it was one of the funniest things to listen to and watch. Although, we spent weeks in physical therapy teaching him that it was okay to be on knees, he never quit accepted the fact that it may be easier to crawl this way.

He would giggle in delight as got up on all fours, he never cried or complained and his face always lit up with pride. Soon after he was put in the crawl position to go full steam ahead he would begin to rock. The downfall of this rocking motion always came when he was taunted by his favorite Elmo toy. Denise, his physical therapist, would set his toy just a few feet from him and tell him to go get it. He saw the prize and we saw the determination. He would rock just a little bit, and each time I held my breath in hopes he would continue forward. After just a few rocks back and fourth Julian would dive into a belly flop on the mat and pull his way to Elmo. While Denise was thrilled that he was finally moving she still had major concerns with his progress. He was now almost 11 months old and barely beginning to crawl. So just as quickly as we had a victory in our home, her concerns gave us more to worry about.

Denise asked me during a visit if I thought Julian had been exposed to drugs while his biological mother was pregnant? My heart raced at the idea of Julian having to deal with yet another issue caused by his biological parents. I said," There was nothing in his file about drug usage. Why do you ask? Is this something I should pursue with Betty Rose?" Denise shook her head back and forth as if confusion had taken over her thought process. She said," Well maybe you could ask her about it. His delay in activity could be many things but if they do a hair follicle test on him now we might be able to rule out drugs. It is more of a gut feeling then anything because I could not put any evidence behind my thoughts here." Her words were both devastating and exciting as I heard them.

I couldn't imagine how a mother could do drugs during a pregnancy. After all I would have done anything just to get pregnant. I also hated the idea of Julian having to overcome yet another issue because his bios were so irresponsible. Hadn't he been through enough because of them. But with each negative I thought about Julian and his biological parents, I also thought, what if this is it. What if he was exposed and that proves they shouldn't get him back.

As the thoughts bounced back and forth from good to bad in my brain, I began to wonder what Betty Rose would do with this information. I struggled with if I should even tell her because I knew Denise wouldn't stand up in court and suggest that drugs could be a factor in all of this. After all she had just said she had no facts to back up her accusations. Yet, if I didn't say something what if mom was doing drugs now while pregnant with Julian's little brother or sister, what was she doing to this new child? Would Betty Rose even believe me? She always insisted I was just out to keep Julian and not out to do what was best for him. The idea weighed heavy on my heart for days. Then after the first supervised visit Julian had with the bios in October, I decided what to do.