Face to Face with Ashley

As my heart grew more weary about our case and dealing with social services I found myself looking toward a young girl for a different answer. The same young girl I had just a few weeks ago been contact by through a brief email was now ready to meet me in person. The question wasn't really was she ready but more was I ready. I was so torn between my sweet little Julian and the idea of having a child that didn't come with the social services drama. I tired not to imagine that social services would ever take my son from me but everyday I was reminded that they might. So the idea of being given a second chance at motherhood was very appealing. Of coarse what if the case turned and we were all finally a family. Could I manage both children?

Finally, I had talked myself into at least meeting this amazing young girl, if for no other reason than to just have her leave a thumb print on my world. I loved the fact that she even wanted to meet me. Just considering me to be a candidate for her child's adoptive mother was an amazing gift. I really had no idea how this one meeting would end up changing both of our worlds.

Ashley and I finally set up a meeting for lunch through our mutual friend. I was going to pick up both girls and we were going to head to Chilis for lunch. I found myself very nervous just at the idea of meeting her. I knew just as much as I was looking at her and wondering if her baby would some day be our baby. She too was interviewing me for the most important position she would ever interview anyone for in her life, the adoptive mother of her child. Not only deep down did I want the honor of being the woman she picked, I also just wanted to know her personally. To be so young, only 19, and making a decision so big. I was in awe of her strength before we even met.

The day to meet was finally here. I was going to leave Julian home with my husband and I was going to meet the girls. I picked up the young girl that both Ashley and I knew first. As soon as she got in the car she was giving me a pep talk. One I needed at the time! She was telling me that I was the right person to take Ashley's baby and even if I kept Julian I would be a great mother to both children and she already knew this baby was suppose to be with my husband and I. My heart was full of joy and reassurance by the time we got to Ashley just from a pep talk by yet another 17 year old girl.

As we pulled into a small mini mall to pick up Ashley my heart began to race. I saw her immediately. She was standing at the edge of the curb in front of a movie theater waiting for us. She was on the phone and she smiled as she realized it was us pulling up next to her. I studied every inch of her. Her smile made her entire face light up. She was a tiny little thing except for her swollen tummy that carried her most precious gift to the world. She looked so young to me. I couldn't imagine what must have been going through her mind as she stood there waiting for us.

As she climbed into the back seat of my car I introduced myself. I smiled and told her it was so nice to finally meet her. And from the moment she looked at me and let out her nervous giggle, I knew we would some how be connected for life. All the fear left me and I no longer felt nervous. Instead I was full of excitement at the thought of us sharing a child together. I couldn't wait to get to lunch just so I could get to know her.