Our First Halloween

Our first Halloween together as a family had started off with a black cloud hanging over it because of Betty Rose's phone call just a few days earlier. However, it did not stop Al and I from trying to make the best of yet another hard situation. After Al and I spent the night dissecting my conversations with Betty Rose the two of decided that the outcome of this situation was not up to us. We once again were completely out of control and so for the next few days we agreed not worry about what our future might be and instead concentrate on Julian's very first Halloween. After-all, this was something only we could share together as a family and it was a memory that didn't need approval by social services or intervention from the bios.

Although Julian was not yet walking and couldn't make it to the doors to trick or treat, he was very mobile. His favorite move was the army crawl, he never did crawl on his knees, it was always on his belly. He also loved standing and pulling himself up on the furniture. His climbing skills were how he earned the nickname of little monkey by his daddy. He was always climbing on the backs of furniture or on top of toys. Julian's downfall to being mobile however, was he did not like taking a tumble of any kind. In fact any sign of him stumbling, often lead to big time tears and loud screams. Even if only falling on his bottom into a sitting position. His cries got your attention and it was as though his world were coming to end. It took some time but I had figured out the pitch of the screams and although he cried a lot, I only came running when his scream told me he had really hurt himself. I often watched him feel wounded and I would wonder if he would have been the same big softy if he hadn't been in pain so many weeks as a young baby. Or if he was just born with that big soft heart. It was hard to tell what had made Julian who he was, but it was easy to see his emotions were worn on his sleeve and he felt very deeply about all things in his world. Halloween day was no exceptions for our little man.

I had the perfect first Halloween day planned for our family. Julian would wear his adorable costume to the pumpkin patch that morning to pick out his first pumpkin and on the way home daddy and I would stop and get a hot apple cider. We would go home for lunch and then hit Grandma's house that night for a little trick or treating, pumpkin carving and some spoiling time. I wanted to start family traditions and I knew this Halloween was the beginning of them.

My perfect plan was derailed when the night before Halloween, Julian woke up with a terrible cold. He not only had the cold but he also had teeth coming in and this left for one miserable kid and one very tired mommy. Between the two of us we looked like Zombies on Halloween day and that was before any costumes or makeup were applied. However, not wanting to give up the time together as a family; and still having the idea of never being able to spend another Halloween together, we continued on with the perfect day plan.

Daddy put Julian's costume on and he screamed the entire time. By the time the hat made it on Julian's head a full stream of snot was running down his nose and his eyes were red and full of tears. He hated the costume and the entire neighborhood knew it. The sun was shining that day but the temperature was cold so we left the hat on as way to keep Julian warm. While loading him in the car to go to the pumpkin patch he pulled at the hat and yelled mama at me, as if to ask if I were serious for making him wear the hat. It didn't take long before I gave in and the hat came off.

With the three of us loaded in the car ,we began our 45 min car ride to the pumpkin patch. The hope was that Julian would sleep the entire way and be ready to pick his first pumpkin. However, because he had a cold he wasn't breathing well and each time he tried to sleep he woke up unable to breath, and then of coarse he cried.

Al and I were exhausted before we even got to the pumpkin patch and Julian was miserable. Just trying to get him out of the car Al and I started to bicker at each other. I still had this amazing plan in my head and Al just wanted Julian to stop crying. With Julian on my hip and with the monkey hat back on, we headed out to find the perfect pumpkin for our perfect day.

Walking to find a pumpkin Julian continued to sniffle and snot continued to run down his lip. Pulling Kleenex from my pocket I tried to clean him up in hopes to pull off the best picture possible to remember this moment. Al found a place where it seemed like only the three of us were there to search for a pumpkin. With the camera ready for the perfect photo, I set Julian down next to a pumpkin and he began to cry once again. This time however, he had gone into full army crawl mode to get to daddy and now he was covered in dirt and hay from the ground at the pumpkin patch. As our little monkey crawled to daddy, I finally began to question why I had us all out there that day, but it didn't stop me from trying to make it better.

Our pumpkin was finally picked and our little monkey was not happy. The only photo we got in the pumpkin patch that day is of our little Julian covered in dirt and hay, snot running down his nose and he without a smile. We did make it to get that hot apple cider and we enjoyed on the ride home while Julian cried the entire 45 minutes back. We also made it to grandmas that day after a long nap and Julian did take one other picture the picture I keep as our first Halloween photo. He was smiling because Grandma had done the spoiling and let him dig in the candy and pour it all over the floor, Julian loved every second of it. As for our pumpkin it turned into Julian's first jack o'lantern. Daddy carved it especially for him and there is a picture of that as well.

That night after Julian took his bath and got cuddled into bed, I laid my hand on his back to pray over him and I asked God to not let that day be the only Halloween we had to remember as a family.